That Looks Good

I love cauliflower. 

I see those pins of “healthy mashed cauliflower” that “looks” like mashed potatoes.

They are supposed to be a healthy alternative to mashed potatoes.

They are supposed to be delicious. 

They are not.

moral: don’t get conned by Pinterest

What I Want To Do When I Grow Up

“I swore never to be silent whenever and wherever human beings endure suffering and humiliation. We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented.” – Elie Wiesel

 

“Justice will not be served until those who are unaffected are as outraged as those who are”- Benjamin Franklin

 

 

 

2013

At the beginning of 2013, I said “here’s hoping THIS year doesn’t suck”.

And, in comparison, it didn’t.

But, lemme tell ya, I’d define this year as “Loss”.

My Mom died early in 2011. A year and a half later my Dad died. (both of these deaths occurred unexpectedly after a brief illness.) Yes, there were people who reached out to me. People that checked up on me. And I appreciate them for doing so.

But I have been heartbroken by my oldest daughter leaving. I want her here. I want our family together. I want her to take my son with her when she does an errand, or goes with a friend for a late-night ice cream. I want her to make his first girlfriend feel comfortable at our home. I want my little daughter to cuddle in bed with her, to eat “sister soup” for breakfast, to paint nails with. I want her to be there when my little one comes home from school to show off her art work. I don’t want her having a serious boyfriend that I might not ever meet. I don’t want her squeezing in a skype call if she can when she’s having Christmas with some family I don’t know.

Add to that having a close meaningful friendship fall apart. This is a friend who we used to have holidays with, who we’ve vacationed with, and we were each other’s “go to” person when we’d have a crisis. Although we are both making overtures of friendship to each other, we’ll never be the friends we used to be. And now that I have a young child again, that friend isn’t available for me to drop my little one off for an hour while I run out to do some chore. I can’t send her over there to show off her newly pierced ears. She won’t be on Addis’ “emergency contact” form when she goes to Kindergarten next year.

 

Feeling lonely and heartbroken.

Anniversary

Three years.

Wow. What the heck were we doing all those years before? I can barely remember not having Her.

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Three years ago:

  • I had just returned from Ethiopia after meeting my little girl
  • Although the wait for our Embassey appointment wasn’t terribly long, it sure felt that way.
  • My neighbor had a baby shower for me. I wore a pillow under my shirt.
  • We were finishing up getting that little room ready. Straw colored walls, Pink & green trim, princess blanket (which has always been her favorite), cute pictures on the walls, shelves full of books.
  • Jet lag. Seriously, I didn’t see it coming, it took a long time to recover from!
  • Pictures, pictures, pictures. I couldn’t stop looking at them!

The first pictures we saw of Addis she looked stunned & worried. When we met her, her expression was flat. In fact, she had that flat look to her eyes until she had been home for about 6 weeks.

First dayThis picture is from the first daw we met her.

 

Box Braid Tutorial using Micro Braids

I took some pictures while doing hair today, I’m hoping that I can use them to explain how to do synthetic box braids.

This is the hair, I like using the “curly” braids, the ends don’t have to be secured.

HairsyntheticbraidsI use two strands together…but the strands on the left are one strand of the braid, the strands on the right are another strand of the braid, and then Her hair will be the third.

hairboxbraidThese synthetic braids are often crocheted into corn rows, but I’m not talented enough for cornrows! So we do box braids. She’ll have about 45 when we’re done. It might look better if the boxes were even smaller, but Addis’ hair is very fine & if I make them much smaller there isn’t enough hair to hold them in good.

hairbeginingbraidThe synthetic braid just gets wrapped around Her hair. The first few times I used tiny bands, but they didn’t help much.

hairbraidingJust braid them in. Really simple. You’ve got to keep them tight & smooth, but if you can braid you can do this. Keep braiding down, using 2 strands together as each strand of the braid + the Hair, until you’re a half inch or so from the bottom of the natural hair.

hairsplittingbraidWhen you get close to the bottom of the natural hair, split one of the braid strands away & add it to the strand that is Her Hair. Now you will have 1 strand that is really 2 together, 1 strand that is 1 tiny braid, & 1 strand that is 1 braid & natural hair. Braid it keeping those ends tucked into the braid as much as possible. Braid all the way down.

That is it!

After a few days, the braids start coming apart, but usually don’t reach the natural hair until they’ve been in 2 weeks. Maybe I’ll braid them back down again, or maybe she’ll have curly ends.

And then after about 2-3 weeks, I’ll start re-doing sections, keeping this styling in for 4-6 weeks.

Good luck!!

 

 

$2.13/hr

I had read an article once about how to be happy. Most of it I don’t remember. But one thing always stuck with me.

Leave a good tip.

It said that if you leave a few extra bucks, you’ll soon forget… but it can make someone’s day. In fact it can change their entire work shift, and They will remember. 

So I try to do so.

Today I came across this video, & it gave me goosebumps. Who wouldn’t want to do this?? (or, for that matter, who wouldn’t want to be the server?)

http://www.upworthy.com/a-gesture-of-kindness-is-a-big-deal-its-an-even-bigger-deal-when-you-know-how-bad-their-pay-is

A Little Bit About My Job

I’ve been accused recently of being racist. And, at about the same time, I’m seeing it happen on political discussions on the internet. People on the right are accusing those on the left of being “racist” because they keep dragging up history, because they won’t let the subject go, because everyone is the same & let’s just start from there. 

They aren’t saying that I’m racist in the conventional manner…they are saying that I am feeding the fire of hate by speaking up & bringing light to disparities or hate I see. They say that whites are having their place chipped away by minorities percieved “special needs”.

Yeah…I say… fuck that.

If I see racism, I’m calling it out. 

First of all, I am offended by it myself, even if it doesn’t actuallly effect me.

Second of all, things aren’t going to magically “get better” because it’s been 150 yrs since the Emancipation Proclimation, or because we have a black president.

Third of all, I have a black child. IT’S MY JOB. 

Let me repeat, CALLING OUT RACISM IS MY JOB.